APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS: SECRETS FROM MY GARDEN

I recently started gardening. I have no idea what I’m doing, but it's thrilling to plant seeds that turn into beautiful flowers or vegetables I can cook up for dinner later that night. My friends joke that I’m turning into a “grandma.” I do appreciate different things as I get older, and maybe this past year has allowed me to appreciate simple, meditative moments of turning over soil, and pulling weeds. But I think it's more than that.

What I am noticing is that the process of creating a thriving garden is the same as my coaching process of creating a fulfilling life and career. 

FIRST, YOU MUST PREPARE YOUR PLOT OF LAND. IF THERE ARE WEEDS, PULL THEM OUT.

Weeds are such a funny thing, because weeds are literally any plant you don’t want to grow. And when you join a community garden like I did, you inherit weeds in your garden plot. Your mental landscape is also FULL of weeds. These are beliefs that you inherited, either from your parents or your culture before you were even old enough to question them, and therefore grew up accepting them as fact. Examples of these inherited weed-beliefs could be: only doctors or lawyers are respected professions to have, life success is defined by status and wealth, or your body should look different than it naturally does in order to be beautiful.

The easiest way to spot a weed-belief is to notice what your saboteurs are telling you. Saboteurs are almost always an internalized critical voice that stems from authority figures in your childhood. And here’s the crazy similarity between actual weeds and weed-beliefs - they will always keep coming back. This is the zen moment when you just sit down patiently, and realize they are a fact of your life, and that pulling them out with patience is a radical act of self-love. The motivation behind sitting down and examining your old negative beliefs that are no longer serving the greater picture of your life, is knowing you are putting your care and energy towards growth in areas that you DO want. 

NOW IT'S TIME TO ENVISION WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR GARDEN. 

You need to choose a direction while also knowing it may turn out differently than you planned. But this choice in direction is exciting and empowering. You take a look at what other people are growing in their gardens and you get inspired. You think about what you really enjoy - fresh vegetables and herbs you want to eat, or flowers you want to cultivate and create beautiful bouquets to give to friends. You choose your first seeds. 

In your internal mental landscape, these carefully chosen seeds are products of your core values. Your core values are what drives every single choice you make in life - your internal compass. 

Core values are unique to each person, and this is what makes them so important. No two people show up in the world in the exact same way, just like no two gardens are exactly the same. Some examples of core values could be: connection, authenticity, expression, love, family, service, humor, or courage. They are often qualities you admire in other people, and although it takes a little time to identify them, it is one of the most powerful insights coaching can give you.

NEXT, YOU NEED TO WORK THE SOIL.

Ok, you pulled your weeds and you’ve chosen your seeds. Now it's time to make sure the soil is rich in nutrients to provide these seeds with their best chance of survival. Mixing in fertilizer or compost is an important step to ensuring your garden will thrive. And again, it's not a one-size-fits-all process. Every type of soil is different, and depending on your particular climate, and the organisms that may be already living there, you will need to choose specific nutrients to support the growth of your seeds. Think of soil as your environment. In life, this means adjusting your environment to support healthy habits that are aligned with your core values. This can look like setting boundaries, scheduling in time for exercise and meditation, or enlisting the help of a friend or caring professional. Installing support systems and fortifying your environment is essential for your internal growth.

NOW IT'S TIME TO PLANT! 

You plant your seeds and give them plenty of water and sunshine, and then you wait. Like life, change doesn’t happen overnight. Patience, perseverance, and adaptability are your main tools going forward. As you notice some seeds sprouting easily, others may not, and those that do may get eaten by birds or insects. You are not deterred, however, and you reach out to fellow gardeners to get ideas on what to try next. You experiment, and you allow yourself to fail, because you know that gardening is a process. There is no final end point. Seasons change, and you move along with them, tweaking and nurturing as you go. You will beam with pride as you pick your first tomato, and gather your first bouquet of flowers to place prominently on your table. You created this, and your hard work and dedication has created a new, fulfilling reality.

Just as certain plants thrive, whereas others do not, life leads you down paths you never knew existed, and looking back you realize that it's better than you could have ever imagined. All of the versions of yourself and things you have tried, have led you to become the master gardener of your life. Remember, you know your inner mental landscape best, so grow your own way.