MENTAL HEALTH AND THE REAL TALE OF TWO WOLVES
A FIGHT OF TWO WOLVES WITHIN YOU
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
I first heard this story during one of my coaching certification classes as an example of how coaching fosters the ability to step outside of our emotions in order to make healthy choices in our lives. Acknowledging our “evil” inner wolf as a natural part of every human experience is a crucial first step in building self-awareness and self-agency in how we choose to act and respond to life.
At first glance it seems that the obvious answer to which wolf to feed is to only feed the “good” one so you starve out the “evil” one. In relation to coaching, this “evil” wolf embodies our inner saboteur voices. But, as I’ve explained in a previous post, your saboteurs are not aspects of your psyche that need to be banished. They may be misguided and overreactive, but they are just trying to protect you.
Interestingly, I discovered that the origin of this parable is not actually Cherokee, but Christian, from the book “The Holy Spirit: Activating God’s Power in Your Life,” by Billy Graham (Wikipedia). This didn’t surprise me since the concept of having an “evil” wolf inside us didn’t seem aligned with Native American beliefs and mythology. Luckily, there is an alternate ending floating around the internet, and it’s a much more realistic metaphor for how we achieve inner mental balance. This other ending goes like this…
The old Cherokee simply replied, “If you feed them right, they both win.”
“You see, if I only choose to feed the light wolf, the shadow wolf will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he craves. He will always be angry and will always fight the other wolf.”
“But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the light wolf is happy and we all win. For the shadow wolf has many qualities — tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed and great strategic thinking–that I have need of at times. These are the very things the light wolf lacks. But the light wolf has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.”
“You see, son, the light wolf needs the shadow wolf at his side. To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life.”
“Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowledge that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance.”
“Peace, my son, is the Cherokee mission in life. A man or a woman who has peace inside has everything. A man or a woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing.”
“How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. Starve one or the other or guide them both.”
This ending is much more accurate to what real mental health is. It is unrealistic to think that by ignoring, avoiding or repressing natural human emotions represented in this story by the “evil”/shadow wolf, you will experience life filled with 100% “good” wolf characteristics. In fact, I would even argue that doing so increases your likelihood of experiencing mental illness. Mental health is not just the absence of mental illness, and it is certainly not about only feeling good feelings. Mental health is dynamic and complex. It takes awareness, acceptance and agility to guide both wolves, so “they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life.”
Like physical health, mental health requires its own form of training and exercise. The right way to feed your shadow wolf is to acknowledge it. Turning towards difficult emotions takes practice, and as a coach I specialize in guiding people in learning how to be with their full spectrum of emotions. Mental health depends upon our ability to learn how to be less judgmental of our emotions and moods. It requires us to be flexible and willing to accept our limits. We do this one day at a time, by committing to talking to ourselves with compassion, by giving ourselves permission to rest, and by reaching out for support from those we trust.
Source:
https://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=927
https://lonerwolf.com/two-wolves-story/
https://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html